Debts...

In honesty, there are words that anger...
For things done with best intentions...
To suffer for honesty...
Cruel fates of the choices...
Where the blink of an eye...
Is slower than the sigh of disappointment...
How the joke always plays out...
Is anyones choice of viewing habits...
In working to get a choice...
One that could be less...
In the least life could move on...

All those fences of distiction

The waters run deeper and darker, than the failures you hide...where your sins scare you more than waking up...
You know how to that dark will at bay...
Practicing a straight face at the glee...
Writing about that face on every dark page you find...
Most days you can't meet at the middle...
You lie about imbalance, you smile from one side of the fence...
The one that wasn't always there...
You keep the beast aside to play at being a human...
That's where your wrong there are no fences...
Not while you are human...

Its all my words

In all the stories of the women I've had...
I could never measure to the women I didn't...
But not ever did one hold my heart...
In all the years of nights I failed...
Not feeling lost or stupid...
There is not one that haunts me longer...
Than that one dream, one where I didn't speak...
Not one holds my heart...
There is no thrill at not breathing...
And when speaking words don't mean anything...
There is nothing breath to even walk away...
There isn't one told have my words...
Even with the passion or the fury...
Its all my words for me...

Shiny things

Soo many stories, soo many days, seem the same. Getting older living a lifestyle that has no definition, aside from the fits and tantrums of not enough to rent or eat.
People come fighting and dreaming for their slice of this. Something that some would cash out for only one last drink, one last good night, or a goodbye.
No adventure, no life, living to pay the bills when that's all that can be done... like a devils choice for an oppurtunity that would be wished away for the chance of being someone else...
Someone with purpose and power beyond keeping the lights for another night and a belly full of the cheapest brandy for sleep.
Somewhere a dream can be, somewhere outside of the greying life. The white hair makes make it more obvious, that there is no king in this rented castle.

Its always just relative

As only a drowning man can come to terms...
To be at peace with the short comings...
The failures...
The fates of less attempts...
And the ones that seemed like jokes...
That would could only be funny towards the end...
The hollow faces and the words of morons...
Could seem like nothing having to wake...
And make a smile for the world, if only for a few meals...
After sometime the feeling of drowning is only relative....

Matyr agenda

Everything I say is some kind of burn...
My truth isn't the world...
Everything is ignored...
Ignored for the constant...
The words of lame men and women...
Those voices not giving the truths...
Only the bandages to set them along...
All those challenges, all the voices...

Conviction

In this life there are convictions...
Ones well met, and those that are the death...
Many seem faulty and worthless to many...
But life is conviction...
Without it everything is grey and pointless...
Forgotten is the title of that lifestyle...

Hesse

How is it that a man could sleep...
With not some pain...
Is that what it is to be a man...
One always struggling to maintain...
A face, a lifestyle, or other...
Fierce to battle the balance...
While to lay near a softer...