over ten years after

i break down to idiocy and i had begged for something...
never did i ask for the light...
someone else's love was to my life the only heat...
nothing i wanted more till i broke myself and saw...
my real life, if to live amongst the roaches...
it was better than to for a false start...
Under a weak life seeking the frail shallow lights...
my light was to be in the world ouside of weakness...
my own struggle that i had to live and fight

Silence was accepted

On the new morning I was visited by the mother of the 3 deaths. When she gave me her name , she gave to me the word of truth...
"You are the no man, without a story... you will no longer be relevant or remembered"

I turned away to withdraw from such harsh words of a stranger, when I saw the world was gone without me... There was no smoke in the sky, no screams of  end to a mad world. only the silence of what was my life, the no man. frightened I looked to my remaining companion and saw that she right in her statement. This was all mine, but none of it would have a legacy for me as I was the end of this.

She walked along side me for days, while I searched for her word's to be false. But I knew her to be right, I  thought myself to be insane to have imagined ridiculous madness that a woman be my only company at the end as I am the only man forever. I should not be the ever of never for humanity's final breath.

I would have to rebuild with this woman, my companion , if she chooses me or not... I will refuse to be the end. When I spoke to her in defeat to the world she showed me,  I  plead to her optimism to rebuild the storyline.  Silent she sat showing no life in her eyes and bore to me the scares that made her the mother of the 3 deaths.

That would be the final story of ever and the Twilight was past and there never goimg to be a whisper or a word written about it.

Silence was accepted...

coming in from this end, everything is a messy blur, and when things go right its always greeted with disbelief especially when it all seems a drunk fantasy.

there was a night rainy and cold that fogged the windows with drunk profanities and idiot smiles that glided across  LA freeways in drunk laughter, nothing was a miracle or lucky it was just idiot logic that made it safe for that night. From the bars and acts that went nowhere like sadder sideshow. it had its fun that only the lives and hearts of 20 somethings found interest in gettting away from home to act like they were more than there day jobs

after laughing at near death experiences and drying off with cold drinks that were bought while pinballing all over town on the birth of sunday dreams.  the sounds of a collection from a childhood that held with some reverance helped to drip away some of the rain.

the nogstalgia was an important mess of the night bringing all the bodies that were laying about to move and find rythm in the past every guy had a girl to hold while he relived a past and every girl got to follow a rythm with a guy songs played all nightt while drinks kept falling into these loose people's hands. there was smiles held in that dark night while half memories were formed.

round past the last call friends started fall into bed and chairs to fall asleep discussing rumors and theories of ridiculuos situations there was fun in drunk lives and real ones to be said in that state during this night. the hours bleed on and the nogstalgia was moving into funny realms that brought smiles that were on multiple faces

morning was coming closer as some of the bodies got closer and more personal in the start of sunday.  trust was being issued by tequila swings because the cheap beer was dieing out again, and no one could move to change it,  even if it were early enough to. there was a stupid drunk passion that was being spoken by two, that had been drifting around each other for months with smiles and comments but was held at bay by someone else's taboo.

the conversation flittered

half the year and still believing

everything was over and just endless static...
nothing was ever to be again...
and all was content to nothing...
till a song was sung and everything was illuminated...
there were no words to say about...
and then there was everything an investment...
from that voice everything...
rasp... truth... love...

From a pleb

Looking at the plebs...
Finding a life in that truth...
And when the seasons changed...
The life before called back...
Set on a prepaid plan...
Moving on and away...
Hopefully there was a mark...
Because there was one here...
And from what was left...
There was some kinda growth...
From a pleb

End of romance

End of romance...
The end at trying...
For the end of pushing...
The beginning of another day looking for potential...
Another day to tell the beginning of another story...

Zodiacs...

When there's no fuel for the fire...
and your Anonymous in a small town...
the days go by with more resentment than the one before it...
How long can it go on...
just to be there with no common ground...

No more... this was all before

I remember when you use to call. Phone calls to a person who shouldn't have hung on your words. but when the right thing is played the part by an idiot, hoping for something real there's routine.

Late nights in my bed, sitting staring at the alarm clock's simple red numbers, hating to have to wake up in the morning. to act like I wasn't up all night drinking cheap brandy and pretending that there would be a call that I'd have act sober for.

Took a while for me to stop acting like that. It was a change that had to happen, But there are still some nights I reminisce about that desire and hearing some kind of warmth in a voice speaking only to me... My gem.

The cheap brandy got to expensive after a while, the price to pay just to feel some sickness wasn't worth it. to live in that memory wasn't letting me live by day or night.

It was about some days after nights I couldn't move...