over ten years after

i break down to idiocy and i had begged for something...
never did i ask for the light...
someone else's love was to my life the only heat...
nothing i wanted more till i broke myself and saw...
my real life, if to live amongst the roaches...
it was better than to for a false start...
Under a weak life seeking the frail shallow lights...
my light was to be in the world ouside of weakness...
my own struggle that i had to live and fight